Take All Of Me -Marty Sampson

I love You
all of my hope is in You
Jesus Christ take my life
take all of me


You broke the night like the sun
and healed my heart with Your great love
any trouble couldn't bear
You lifted me upon Your shoulders


Love that's stronger
Love that covers sin
and takes the weight of the world


I love You
all of my hope is in You
Jesus Christ take my life
take all of me


You stand upon mountain tops with me
with You I walk through the valleys
You gave Your only Son for me
Your grace is all I rely on


i love You so, and i give up my heart to say
i need You so, my everything
Oh God

taken frm: http://www.fwdchristianity.com/worship_takeallofme.html

im so tired after tackling Forex... urgh.. mentally drained

i dread the dae when i haf to wipe the dust off my geog notes.. they looked ancient to me. bleaks.. y do i even choose geog again..

gd nite ppl..

i asked someone a qn todae.. is it possible to be tired one dae.. when simply too much haf been unloaded onto u.. when the loaded burden seems to be weighing u dwn too much and u want to release it and carry ur own burden instead?

the soccer guys are stl the heros in each and everyone of our hearts..

we cheered, we screamed..

the guys played really hard and i m so proud of them.. like wad i haf told my class.. i m so proud to be wearing the MJ uniform when we walked out of the stadium..

they played really well.. many of us told that it was a clear victory wif a 2-1.. last 4 more mins to go.. we held our breath.. nuthng can go wrong now.. jus maintain the last 4 mins and we are the Champions again..

within 4 mins.. VJ scored 2 goals... they won wif a score of 4-2.. they ahd so many chances .. wif the ref awarding them a couple of free kicks and penalities.. we were the black horse and its annoying.. fraking annoying.. our team fought wif one man down... the goalie was veh good.. the defenders are alwaes reliable and adher did us proud again.. really.. they are the warriors..

truly.. a brave fight.

it felt horrible todae.
during the run, my chest feels painful and it tightens up..
feels as thou y chest is gng to cave in soon..
breathing is real painful and alot of tyms, it feels as thou i m gng to be knockout anytym..

gt my mum worried wif the persistent chest pain..she was so worried to the extent that she wanted to bring me to the A&E of NUH.. yep.. bt my dad saes that even if i were to wait there.. since the waiting hours are rather long.. (bt its the A&E!)..so..

i m gng to the poly for a referal letter to NUH.. actually i m rather scared.. jus as when i m typing this.. it stl feels painful.. it was never this bad before..

"ugly" and oreo obsession @ NYDC..=)

i dunnoe wad is happening to me..
prehaps u r one of those who noticed a change in me..

i dunnoe why..

i m sorry if i m not as affectionate as i used to be..
if i m difficult to tok to. if i simply offer no access to wad i m thinking abt..
for the tyms when i m quiet. for the tyms when i dun seem to share ur joy..
cos smtyms its painful..

i noe the wound is gng to heal one dae..
sadly, the scars still visible, thou seemingly invisible..


right now.. it hurts..



Lord. do the work in me.. heal this broken child.i pray

one dae ..
the dark clouds are gng to disperse

i noe.. it will

watching my mum cry her heart out..
shatters my heart


tears fell bitterly todae..
so much hurt..
can anyone ever understand.
can anyone understand the amount of hurt.

my heart shatters.
i noe a part of me died..


i hate u .. i really do..

on the bus today..
my mum teared again..
there was this family..
the daddy and mummy was playing wif their little one...
painful to watch..
i noe cos i shared the same sentiments.

thinking back..
this is so much like a joke.. or rather black humour


i nv used to think so much abt why u return home so late on every wed and sat ...
smtyms i look at my frens family.. some dng the same biz as u r ..their dads return home late bt stl try to haf dinner wif them..yet, dinner wif u was a weekly issue..i tell myself to be a good girl cos dad is working...

during my growing up years.. daddy seems to be like a background fading character.. i hardly see him cos he returns home like 10 plus.. smtyms when he returns home, we are all deep in slumber..

i dismiss any negativities.. cos i m so convinced that my dad is hard at work..working for the family.

true.. ur stl hard at work.. but .. i dunnoe..

i had a dream some tym back.. i dreamt that u left the family,i cried bitterly in the dream and woke up crying still.. i rem it was a sunday and i cried my heart out during alter call..but this tym, i didnt cry as much as i did..


maybe cos i felt betrayed..


lord.. hear this cry..

Numbed senses…
Reality hits even harder todae..

I cldnt believe it .. I really cldnt..

How can it be true?..
How can it be true when I was so convinced that I had the prefect family in the world..
How can it be true when all was fine 7 years ago..
Even granny and the uncles knew..

And now.. there is one again.. I detest that thought.


I m sorry for my mum now..
All for us.. she is gng to pretend as if nothing has happen.. she has to take it all dwn.. even bearing the fact that someone she loves.. no longer belong to her..

I used to thnk that a marriage vow between 2 is smthng so sacred…once.. there was love so sweet and pure..

And there was so much trust between the two..
And when the trust is broken.. it’s a pitiful and sympathetic thought..
Does the notion of marriage and love still remain as beautiful as it was once cherished?


The Sun Has Set ( Emily Bronte)
The sun has set and the long grass now
Waves dreamily in the evening wind;
And the wild bird has flown from that old gray stone
In some warm nook a couch to find

In all the lonely landscape round
I see no light and hear no sound
Except that wind that far away
Come sighing o’er the healthy sea

if it really was true..

please return back to us..
we need you dad..

really...


ur 20 years of marriage..
ur 2 kids..
our family..

dont hesitate anymore..
turn back. we are all still here..
shall we forgt abt it and start all over again?


Lord.. hear my desperate cry..
Lord.. hear this cry from Heaven.

i suck .. i noe.. alwaes haf been probably..

each tym i thot thngs are recovering.. it happens again.. a phone call frm smone. will prolly get the whole story out again.. the entire story.. i hate to hear them .. i hate to be reminded of them.. i really do..

u wished that you had nt chose my dad in the past.. when you had do have a lot of suitors.. you wonder why he cld be so heartless wif a 20 year r/s jus like that .. ppl agreed wif you that dad is heartless.. 20 years of marriage.. and now he cant even stand the sight of you .. he chose nt to haf anythng to do wif u now.. a divorce was on an immediate agenda wif nt for our education..you told ppl how you wished that you have never detect the small tumour in your womb 3 years ago.. and if u had died then..everythng wld be over.. how dying wld so much be your sweet rescue.

the whole world haf been telling me that i m nt to blame myelf for all that has happen..

if only this is so easily done..


it hunts when the protective layer gets torn dwn time and again..

you blame me alot for choosing nt to speak up for you when dad had a talk wif samuel and I.. i didnt cos i had lost all trust i had for you.. you never know and will know how it feels.. to wonder if your mum is coming home tonight or panick why you cant find her when dad is already home and you cant answer when he asked where did you go.. the were countless nights of insercurity and fear... when you see your mum looking all lost and desperate whne she chalks up loans.. when you wonder if you had lost ur mum actually and someone who looks jus like her and had posed as your mum actually.. and the one you see is not her.. i thot it was jus a nightmare and everythng will jus be over soon.. jolted out of my sleep in the middle of the night.. i frantically search the house of whether you are still at home.. how u called me in the middle of lessons one dae and said that you are going to die and i came home to wrestle off he knife, the pen knief and the bottle of bleach awae frm you.. i was scared whne i hid allt he sharp objects at home.. even watching you cry in the middle of the night.

recollections seem veh much untrue now..thinking back.. i used to burst in the roomon sunday mornings and pester you two to bring us to have madonalds breakfast.. i remember my dad cutting up my hotcakes for me.. i will alwaes remember there was this time when we were on the car and my dad told us abt ur first driving experience.. ti was so hillarious and i laughed till my stomach hurts.. i remember how my dad would call every afternoon and they wld jus talk.. i remember sunday dinnerxs was homely and it was the only time of the week when we sit down to haf dinner together .. they really seem so untrue now..

really.. do they exist?

i was once very proud of my family.. i was so convinced that my family was the best that anyone could have..

there are daes when you thot of the past and you get depressed again.like now.. you are crying in the toilet bt do you noe i m crying too?...

you have found a job and had not touch those stuf again.,.. bt i jus so hate it when someone calls wif the intention of seeing how are you getting on.. and you ended up reaccounting everythng and you cry .. i noe everytym it happens it will last for days.. i haf alwaes wished that they dun call at all.. jus when we were watching the korean dramas cheerfully.. the call comes and thngs remain like before again.. its tiring..

how i wished i m overseas now..

samuel is the one who has been pledging loyalty to you.. and you have accounted time and again that it was him that had accompany you thru the nights when you were depressed.. i m sorry if you had hated me..dad dun like me.. thats wad samuel use to tell you.. today u told your fren that again.. how dad had a a strained r/s wif samuel cos he havs been speaking up for you. and it explains when the daughter is on the father's side and the son on the other.. you have no idea how it felt when u heard your mum said that very words.. the daughter is as heartless as the father..

i m sorry if i was to have spoken up for you like wad samuel did , instead of jus keeping quiet.. at that point of time..i didnt want to care abt thngs anymor and my trust was so fragil that i dunnoe when you wld really haf gone on a straight path when so many promises have already been broken before.. perhapes you will never understand why i didnt do the things that you wld have wanted me to do.. or the things i had rather myself to have the courage to do..

mayb all this is nt true again.. its all but a dream..